I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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