I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
