Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
