Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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