can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
