he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The ass gains better be worth it
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