I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
