My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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