some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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