how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
