She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
