That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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