we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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