I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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