That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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