She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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