its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
