told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
