I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
