So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
