I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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