i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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