why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
