I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
