Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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