so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
