Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
