I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
