doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
