...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
