I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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