I think my vagina is haunted
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
