i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
