he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
