This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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