i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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