WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
