Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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