People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
