There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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