Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
