he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize