For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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