You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
