i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
