I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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