i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
