I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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