yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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