Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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