im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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