does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
