I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
