You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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