its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
