I will die if light touches me.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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