Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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