I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
