i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
