he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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