You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Randomize
